Valhalla Island

I have to admit, this brilliant scam wasn’t my idea. I’ve just seen it done and am passing on what I’ve learnt. Here are the steps that will lead you to the pot of free Mac software at the end of the rainbow.

1. Rush together an ugly Macintosh blog - like this one.
2. Pretend you’re an authority on the subject and command respect.
3. Contact indie software developers, convice them they’re so desperate for publicity that they need to give you a free copy of something they’ve made for you to review.

4. By now, you’ve got the free software but you’ve promised a review. To avoid pissing off the developer and making any real effort - take some screenshots and write a (badly written) review praising features no matter how useless they are. Use made up examples to support these features, for example:

   A designer’s worst nightmare is when he edits something and finds out two minutes later that he destroyed his whole layout or messed up his entire layout or created some undesirable color scheme and can’t remember how to fix it.

   See! That’s what an undo button is for, but not in this review! Don’t proofread or edit the review, it’s wasted time, remember you’ve already got the free software.
5. Use the money you’ve saved to shout your family dinner to congratulate yourself on a scam well done.

This method may also be used to gain press passes to events like Macworld. Enjoy!